Friday, 11 October 2013


This has been sitting here as a draft for a pretty long time.  I wrote and shared it on the Emi in a Semi Facebook page that I coadmin, and later shared the same post on the Gardevoir page on which I was recently granted adminship.  I guess you could think of it as a supplementary post to the thing I wrote for Mental Illness Awareness Week. This first bit is a brief summary of some of my more memorable experiences with anxiety, from its point of view.

"There's no need to be anxious"

Oh boy, you don't say? There's never a need to be anxious, not in my life anyway. Does that stop it from happening? Nope! Anxiety will slap you down and make you its bitch with every chance it's given.

"Got a guest in your house for the night? Well, that sounds neat. It'd be a REAL shame if say, you were unable to fall asleep for no bloody reason."

"On a band trip? Those are fun! Now, let's see how much fun you have when you're so nauseated you can barely stand!~"

"Gone to school to learn stuff? Oho, how well will you learn with a migraine so bad that you can barely open your eyes!"

"Dreading going back to elementary school in the morning? Here, let's give you your first panic attack, so you go out crying to your parents in the middle of the night on the assumption that you're dying."

"Going to go buy a thing you've been looking forward to? Ooh, that requires leaving home. Here, let's make your tummy hurt so much that you need to curl up on the couch until it's time to go, then once you get to where you're going, let's make you hyperventilate because there are too many people in too little space. Sound good? Now, let's also make you all sweaty and nervous at the checkout counter."

"Gotta go out ON YOUR OWN to do something? Oh boy oh boy, we gotta make that nausea happen again! Let's also make you assume everyone who sees you is judging you on some level, here, let's compile a list of the things on which they might be judging you!~ You walk funny, you're fat, your boobs are each the size of a child's head, you're sweating a lot from the combination of my presence the heat and the fact that you're out of shape. Don't worry, I'll let you off the hook for now and stop adding to the list. Now let's distort your perception of time and space so that you worry that you may have passed your destination while I was making up that lovely little list. Oh! You've arrived! Here, let's do that nervous and sweaty thing again, and make it so that when you have to talk, you're barely audible and you trip over your words!~ Now, on the way back home, you walk past and recognize someone you knew from school. Ooh, I bet they'll notice that you've put on weight! Now you're going to dwell on you inability to make friends until you get home, at which point you're going to type out all the nasty things I've done to you in a place where you doubt it'll even be welcome. Is that a migraine coming on? You bet! Now go curl up on the couch and cry like a bitch.~"

Thanks. No, really, it's been fun having to deal with this crap.

This picture is essentially mfw I find out I have to go outside or have people in my home.

I missed a frick-ton of school back in the day.  I was always sick on school mornings and often the night before.  Tummy troubles, headaches, racing heart, various aches and pains.  Miraculously and inexplicably, once my mom called the school, I was picked up from school, or school was over for the day, I'd often start feeling a whole lot better.  On weekends and during holidays, my health was almost always perfect.  My parents picked up on it and assumed I was faking, which didn't help much.  It also didn't help that I couldn't explain my health patterns to them.

Anxiety is a nasty awful thing.  Sadly, the only method of dealing with it I've found is repeated exposure to the things that make me anxious, and some strenuous self talk in an attempt to change my perspective of any given uncomfortable situation.  Fortunately, I do enjoy a challenge, when it's self-issued.  I'm a huge fan of doing what I can't because I can.

On that note, there was another post I did on a page that I admin (words edited some because the original had some humour in poor taste to entertain the folks who like EiaS).

Emi has no legs; she runs.

Rin has no arms; she paints.

Shizune can't speak or hear; she fucking gets shit done.

Lilly is blind; she manages to see beauty everywhere.

Hanako is scarred, physically and emotionally; she opens up enough to either have a successful relationship or to join the newspaper club.

Hisao's whole life is turned upside-down and is shortened dramatically; he finds love (or falls off a roof).

Misha was bullied all through school; she managed to make a couple of friends, and after having her love confession rejected, was strong enough to stay with her friend because she was needed.

Get out there and do that thing you want to do, whatever it is. Go do what you can't because you can. I don't know about you, but I think proving people wrong is the greatest feeling out there.

Over the years, I've learned to cope with my anxiety, among other things.  I've learned that no matter how ill I may feel before or during social events, by the end of it, I'll probably be fine.  No matter how much I may shake during a conversation, odds are that my conversation partner doesn't even notice.

However, even now, as I type this, I can feel my anxiety causing my stomach to do flip-flops as I wonder how this post will be received, or if it will be read at all.  I worry about it getting too much attention, or not enough.  I worry that someone I know may read it and take it the wrong way.  I worry and I worry and I worry and I worry.

The thing about worrying though, is that it's a bit like sitting in a rocking chair, or trying to slam a revolving door.  You can rock and rock, or push and push, and you're not going to accomplish a damn thing.  I've learned that with any source of stress, the best things to do are to do what I can to fix the stressful situation, or if there's nothing I can do, I'll simply not think about it.  So, once this is posted, I'll push it out of my mind, and go back to playing my Rune Factory 4.  Distractions are wonderful things.

If you could hit this with a comment, it would be greatly appreciated.  I know I've been super off topic with my posting lately, and before that I've not been posting anything, but bear with me.  I'm human, with all that that entails.  I've got my limits and my flaws, just like all of you.  I have a lot of trouble getting around to things.  I used to kick myself about it, because I felt like I was being lazy or procrastinating.  Then I read about The Spoon Theory and felt a whole lot better.  It wasn't a matter of being lazy, it was a matter of having used up my spoons.

Wednesday, 9 October 2013

Mental Illness

So, it seems as though it's Mental Illness Awareness Week down in the states.  It also seems as though I can only write when I catch wind of a topic other bloggers are hitting.  At any rate, mental illness is a pretty ugly thing, and so is the stigma attached to it.

Like many people, I have suffered from mental illness.  I have been depressed on and off for about as long as I can remember.  Sure, there are good days.  I can go for months or maybe even a year or more and almost forget it was ever an issue.  Generally speaking, life is good.  I'm pretty content at the moment, save for the extra hormones in my recent depo shot making me a little loopy, but hey, what's a few crying fits and bouts of irritability in exchange for three months of reduced cramps and bleeding combined with better emotional stability and a lack of babies?  (For anyone else on depo, do you feel awful right after your shot, or is it just me?)

As far back as I can remember, I've always wondered how on earth everyone else always managed to seem so damned happy.  Most of my peers were so energetic and outgoing, while I would sit alone and read, quietly observe, or get lost in my thoughts.  I remember identifying with the descriptions given in antidepressant commercials on tv, but also hearing that said antidepressants were best only taken by those over 18.  Since that was about a decade away from my age, I decided that I must actually not be depressed, as the tv made it sound like it was something that only happened to grown ups.

I also have a history of self harm.  Never any cutting, I was always too chicken for that.  It started with simply hitting myself when I thought I'd done something wrong, or thought something I shouldn't.  When I was about seven or eight, I realized that as my peers and a family member often said, I was fat.  What do fat people do?  They eat.  I started eating until it hurt, and then I'd keep going, because I thought that was what I was supposed to do.  The next chapter of my self harm story came some time later.

It started mostly as an innocent bit of curiosity.  Around the fourth to sixth grades, I'd wondered how deep into my skin I could get with just my nails.  Scratching for a moment or two didn't do much.  Was it possible to go deeper?  In the fourth grade, I tried it briefly as an experiment.  I didn't get far before I stopped.  I tried it again in the sixth grade, going a bit deeper.  Somewhere around the eighth or ninth grade, I started to get more serious about it.  This is when people got worried.  I started wearing long sleeves all the time to cover it (out of sight, out of mind).

Around this time, some of my friends were cutting, actually cutting.  My older sister told me to stop what I was doing before showing me her own scars from cutting.  Surrounded by so many people who I felt were doing self harm so much better than I was, I felt inadequate.  So I did my own casual little scraping that much more, to punish myself for not being able to do more.  Depression sure does put you in a peculiar mindset.

I did manage to stop, after a little over a year (which felt like forever at the time).  The marks on my arm have gradually faded for the most part, save for the big main one which I attacked most often.  When I don't bother to shave my arms, the hair there does a decent job of hiding it a bit.  With my gender fluidity, I usually just let most things grow, until there comes a day when I feel super feminine and I repulse myself.  Then I'll either cover up as much as I can that day, or shave my arms and legs like there's no tomorrow.  Then I'll often notice the small pale marks on my arm, and wish to cover up anyway, but I usually manage to convince myself that old scars are nothing to be ashamed of.  To quote Papa Roach, "our scars remind us that the past is real".  No one seems to notice them, but if someone did ask about them, I like to think that I'd be able to explain them calmly.

I can't tell you when exactly it clicked for me that I was indeed depressed, that it was something that could happen to people younger than what the tv antidepressant ads said was the "right" age.  I remember finding a book in the school library about coping with depression when I was in the seventh or eighth grade.  I ended up not reading it and feeling ridiculous for having taken out such a book in the first place.  However, one thing I know I'll never forget from that experience was when my dad went through the contents of my bag (as my parents did daily), finding the book, glancing at me, looking back at the book, and asking if he could borrow it when I was done, before walking away.  Looking back now, all his yelling, irritability, and tending to be bit withdrawn should have suddenly made a whole lot of sense.  At the time I thought he was just trying to make some kind of mean, nasty joke.  That depressed mindset really does distort things.

I could easily sit here and rattle off bunches of people I've known who've had mental health problems.  I could tell you about the Christian girl from the perfect family who never wanted for anything, but ended up struggling through a bout of depression, and kicking herself for it all the way; I could tell you about my first love who had a family history of mental illness and was bullied so badly that she ended up going home crying on a daily basis and tried homeschool, moving, and the school's alternate program before finally dropping out and cutting contact with everyone; I could tell you about the close friend of mine who I mentioned before in my body confidence post, who couldn't bear to keep going to school, and no one in his life seems to have any idea what's going on; I could tell you about my sister, my circle of friends, and the girl with the mentally handicapped older sister who acted like she had a position of authority over her younger sister who had lost her dad in a car accident.  I could tell you about my young teenage niece who is showing signs of mental illness, but these signs are being taken as simple cries for attention, drama queening.  I could tell you about my boyfriend who, like me, struggles with depression and crippling social anxiety, but lives mostly in denial of it.  I could tell you about so many other people, but it would barely scratch the surface.

Mental illness affects a great many people, from many different walks of life.  I remember watching a video on Upworthy about a class of sixth graders, many of whom admitted to being suicidal.  The result?  The teachers actually altered the curriculum to include more self-love and positive thinking.  I think that's a huge step in the right direction.  So many people who suffer from mental illness are told to just "snap out of it" and that they don't need their depression medication, or people will tell them that they're getting real sick of their "anxiety bullshit".  Let's put that into perspective.  Would you tell someone with cancer to just "snap out of it"?  How about someone with diabetes, would you tell them that they don't need their insulin?  Would you talk about how you're so sick of someone's "asthma bullshit"?  No?  Thank you.  Apply those thoughts to the first cases as well.

Someone very close to me used to always tell me to just snap out of my depression.  After she lost her husband to cancer, she stopped saying that.  I guess she realized it wasn't that easy.  I will say that I absolutely did need to be on medication for a while, otherwise I'm sure I wouldn't have graduated.  School was always hard for me, and all that extra work I had to put in and the extra pressure was just way more than I could handle.  A friend of mine used to make fun of my emotions saying things like "Life is just a swirling black abyss for you, isn't it?" before making a sound of derision.  Eventually,I realized that this was her defense mechanism against her own mental health issues

For your further reading, I'll post the two items which inspired me to write this

Boosaurus Mental Illness Awareness Week: Oct. 6-12

^There are some great links in the above post.


I also just found this.  Since I suffered from mental illness all through my childhood, I think it's very important that people know what to look for, so other children don't have to live in the dark like I did.

Thanks for reading!  Have you or has someone you know struggled with something similar?  If you're willing to share, please do so in a comment!

Monday, 29 July 2013

In Anticipation

Okay, I have a couple of posts in the works, and plans for more.  I will likely do reviews of things I own and I will also start reviewing things as I buy them.  Another thing I'll do here is talk about the things I love which aren't available in my size.  Anyway, one thing I feel I must get out of the way is that I won't be censoring my giant areolas, should they be visible in any item I review.  Everybody has nipples, and I don't feel like I should have to hide mine.  Heck, maybe it'll help someone else with huge areolas to see that certain bras may not offer the coverage they would like.  I know I'll be far from the only one with visible nipples on the internet, just check some lingerie shopping sizes (Bravissimo for one).

Well, there we go, a little post to let you all know what's going on.  Sorry I've been so inactive lately, I was off visiting family for a while, it was nice.  I'm also going to hopefully be working on some other things, so said posts may not be coming out as quickly as I may like.

Monday, 17 June 2013

On Gender, Sexuality, and Tits.

Shortly after writing my post for crashing the Modesty Panel, I was sitting at Mr BF's mom's house, with his two younger sisters, aged 12 and 14, when I was checking my phone, noticed some comments on my Modesty Panel post, and screamed excitedly.  Of course, my two sisters-in-law wanted to know what was up, so I told them about the comments and that I was The Tit Rambler, I ramble about tits.  Then, the older of the two said something I could have never expected, and it left me absolutely dumbfounded and unable to respond:

"I thought you were straight?"

Wow, um, okay.  At that moment, all I could do was give her an incredulous stare, completely unable to understand or believe what she said.  I'm sure I spent a moment or two doing my signature fish face, with my mouth opening and closing again and again with eyes agape.

My sexuality aside, are tits truly exclusively sexual?  Really?  Is it not possible to talk about tits without talking about sex?  The entire bra fitting community leads me to believe that they can indeed be separate conversations, but what are things like in the outside world, in the parts of society where "typical" teenage girls absorb the majority of their information?  Honestly, I don't even want to know.

Alright, so, just to blow my dear sweet sister-in-law straight out of the water, guess what?  I'm not straight.  Ohhhh no.  I'm actually omnisexual, which is commonly used interchangeably with pansexual, but here, for my purposes it even includes not-quite-human creatures (I love monster girls, and have a thing for Bowser from the Super Mario series *awaits judging*).  For those of you who don't know just yet what pansexual means, it's used to refer to someone who is attracted to all genders.  Kindly don't mistake it with bisexual, which indicates an attraction only to folks who fit within the gender binary.  I hope I've explained it decently.

Anyway, I think I'll venture on from the realm of sexuality to that of gender.  Before we continue, I'd like to add in a couple of images to help clear some things up for all of you.

Alright, now that we've gotten that out of the way, I will now say that I'm as gender-fluid as my huge tits and heterosexual relationship allow me to be.  What can I say?  He's straight, and that okay.

Anyway, anyone who read my Modesty Panel Crashing bit will know that back in my middle years of high school, I presented myself as being a bit masculine most of the time.  This may have been caused in part by what I suspect are my naturally high testosterone levels, which seem to have sorted themselves out since I was placed on hormonal birth control.  That being said, ever since I was a child, I've never really identified myself as one gender or another, even though a family friend was quite fond of calling me "princess".  I would be deeply perplexed any time I'd hear that <insert thing here> was for <insert gender here>.  In school, whenever they wanted to divide us by gender, I felt as though I'd have been quite happy with either group, but of course, I always went with the one which matched me physically.

As someone who identifies at least in part as a male, there are times when I'd like to look like one, and as such, I've considered investing in a binder for such times, or even to add to my regular bra rotation, but well, there could be a problem with that...

On the subject of gender not always relating to your physical parts, there's a page from a webcomic I enjoy which really got me giggling.  For reference, Larson (on the left) was born and raised as Marie, and Zoey (on the right) was born and raised as Alexander.

Venus Envy by Erin Lindsey is pretty great, even though I really can't relate with a lot of the content, it's delightfully entertaining.  It's been going for quite a few years, and is still continuing (slowly!).  I'd say it's worth a read.

So, if anyone has any thoughts or questions related to any of this, feel free to leave a comment and I'll get back to you.  It would be neat to hear about anyone who can relate.  Also, this is the third place where I've come out about my actual gender, so, congratulations on being among the first to know.

Saturday, 18 May 2013

Male Body Confidence

So, I just mentioned less than an hour ago on my Facebook page that I had intentions of writing about male body confidence at some point, so, why not now?  Bits and pieces of thoughts for this post have been swirling about in my brain since long before I even thought I'd ever start blogging.  I feel it's a very present issue, but you almost never hear about it.  Why?
Whenever I bring up the issue with Mr. BF (who, unlike some other men I've known, is comfortable in just a pair of swim shorts in public), he says that nobody cares, and men are just expected to "suck it up", as they are with many other things such as emotional instability, stress, and depression, which I believe can often and easily have at least partial roots in poor body confidence.
While Mr. BF seems adequately comfortable with his body, I know and have known men who are not.  I'd like to spend some time just listing examples.  My dad, from whom I learned a lot of my bad eating habits, never once went swimming with me (on a related note, my mom just bought the first swimsuit in which I've ever seen her just last year).  Growing up, neither of my parents even owned a swimsuit, so I never saw my dad in one (and never will as he's no longer with us) and just recently saw my mom in one for the first time.  Was my dad never swimming a matter of body confidence?  Well, since it's impossible to ask him, perhaps it will help to analyze his typical attire, day in, day out.  His entire wardrobe consisted of baggy sweat pants, baggy tees with one pocket on the upper left side (seriously, all of his tees were like this), his school bus driving uniform, and one pair of dress pants and an awful button up shirt which I always considered to be a real eyesore.  Does this serve as any indication of how he felt about himself?  I really don't know.  I think I shall move on now, as I doubt my fixating on a departed family member is really something anyone wants to read about.  So, on to another example.  Some years ago, when I was young(er) and (more) naïve, I fell quite hard for a lovely boy whom I'd met over the internet.  One thing (among quite a few others which I won't mention here and now) which bothered me about him was his incredibly low self esteem.  He hated the way he looked, which perplexed me at the time, as he was about the most attractive creature 14 year old me had ever laid eyes upon.  He was a little chubby, and he obsessed over this.  He wanted to be all big and muscular (which, funnily enough, isn't really something I've ever found attractive).  He also suffered badly from what's widely known as penis envy, which I have no trouble relating to boob size complexes.  I honestly always thought it was an odd thing to care about, as it's less visible than boob size, but, we all have our insecurities, some more than others, and some more common than others.  Anyway, he was the first of a string of chubby online love interests, all of whom suffered from poor body confidence.  Of course, just like women, it's not just chubby men who suffer from not liking their appearances.  In the time I've spent talking to strangers on the internet, I've also talked to a few thin guys who didn't like their bodies, they felt scrawny, like there was no substance to them, there were guys who would binge eat multiple times a day in an attempt to put on some weight.  Some actually gave their size insecurity as a reason why they would never want to date a bigger lady.  Heck, back to the topic of penis envy, I even once talked to a guy who was bothered by how "well hung" he was.  He felt like a freak.  Busty ladies, does this sound at all familiar?  Anyway, a couple more specific examples.  I'm a part of the Katawa Shoujo fanbase.  Katawa Shoujo is a visual novel made by members of an online forum which is notorious for being all kinds of strange. So, uhm, geez, where was I going with this...?  Oh, yes!  I meant to talk about some of my fellow KS lovers!  So, I coadmin a page on Facebook based upon one of the characters from KS, and one of my three coadmins on there, who I'll admit, I think is pretty sexy (oh, shush) feels as though he needs to hit the gym from time to time so he doesn't look like "a sack of shit".  When he posted such the thought, it sparked a bit of a conversation on health, body confidence, etc, which I thought was a great conversation to be had.  There is another KS fan with whom I converse regularly who, when we first began to talk, wasn't terribly comfortable with his body, but gradually, as we talked, he realized that a few extra pounds were nothing to be ashamed of.  Truly a shining moment in my existence on the internet!
Anyway, what I really want to know is why female body confidence is in such a strong spotlight, but male body confidence is not.  Don't get me wrong, I LOVE seeing all the confident, curvy (and also not-so-curvy) ladies talking about learning to love themselves, but why have we not seen men doing the same thing?  How can we make the topic of body confidence easier for them to approach?  Is it possible to make our favourite part of the internet more comfortable for men?  We're all fans of equality here, right?  Well, am I the only one whose blood has been set to boil when reading something on body confidence aimed just at women?
I can't think of a proper way to conclude this, so instead, I shall ask for your thoughts on the matter.  Leave me some comments on whether it's something which has ever entered the forefront of your mind, or if the absence of it has even been noticed.  Do you, or have you ever, known any men (or heck, anyone who fits outside of the gender binary) who suffer now or have suffered from poor body image?

Thursday, 16 May 2013

Modesty Panel Crashing

Alright, so, I'm pretty new to the booby blogging scene, and wasn't invited to the Modesty Panel, so I hope nobody minds an uninvited party guest.~  Like many young girls, I was made to be more or less ashamed of my body.  My teenage years were largely spent in men's tee shirts, baggy jeans, and shoes which were a couple sizes too big (so I'd look somewhat "proportional").  Not to mention the poorly fitting bras.

Here I am, on the right, at about 15.  Note the men's clothing, the wild unkept hair, and the uncomfortable expression, even though I'm sitting with close friends (you can only see one, but there were about six of us sitting in a loose circle).  Also note the hunched posture, which was a perpetual part of the 'me' everyone saw on a daily basis.  Believe it or not, I'll readily say that the tenth grade was among the best years of school for me.  Partially because that's when my "badass shell" was the thickest.  I presented myself as masculine, and not caring.  It was all a defense mechanism, really.  A fairly effective one at that.
The first couple years after I hit puberty were kinda odd, as I'd been allowed to wear tight clothing as a child (jiggling all over for the world to see) but once I gained tits, hips, and an ass, whenever I tried on something I liked which was even remotely form fitting, my mother would declare "Eek, no, it fits like a second skin!".  So, with my ~44 inch bust measurement, I was sized out of a lot of ladies clothes (which were often too thin to hide my bra bulges anyway).  So, I always had to dress quite modestly, generally in men's clothing, but it didn't help much.  Recently, a girl with whom I went to school informed me that she often heard the boys in my grade talking about me because I had big boobies.  REALLY?  After all the trouble I went through to hide the awful things?  I can only imagine what might have happened if I'd had the option to dress any less "modestly"!
Anyway, as I write this this evening, I'm wearing a very tight tee shirt, with S/P written on the label.  You know what?  It feels great.  I also love showing off cleavage, why the hell not?!~  When dressing myself, I tend to say "fuck modesty".  Well, I don't really think about it at all these days.  I just throw on whatever my hands land on first, be it baggy or tight.  Of course, I'm still following society's biggest norms.  I'm careful not to let my undergarments show, and my back and tummy can only be seen in swimwear, but masses of cleavage?  Showing off a little leg?  I'll do those any day.  Yes, I sometimes have a lot of cleavage on show, it comes with huge tit ownership.  Big fucking deal!  Not to say I don't still have baggy clothes in my wardrobe, leftover remnants of my earlier teenage years (ah, to be twenty and finally shake off the shackle of having my age end in "teen")  Anyway, here are a couple photos of me which were taken after my bra fitting transformation.  One of me in my strapless prom dress, fleshy arms the size of my head all on show, and one of me in an itsy bitsy teeny weeny blue and ruffly bikini.
I was advised to have my arms somehow covered that day.  Oops.

Awww yiss, lookit them rolls.

Anyway, I'm not saying modesty is bad, but I think it should be present for the right reasons.  If, for example, your line of work requires you to dress a bit more professionally, then by all means, do so.  Or, if perhaps, you're around certain people who are incapable of controlling and being quiet about certain urges, it might be good to cover up some.  Does it suck that we have to dress certain ways at certain times?  Yes, of course.
Ultimately, I'd like to say it should come down to comfort levels.  If you don't want to show anything off, then hey, good for you, that's fabulous and grand.  Rock those maxi dresses, shrugs, swimdresses, whatever.  If you're comfortable baring it all, then power to you.  Mini dresses, strapless numbers and bikinis?  Oh yes.~  In my opinion, modesty should directly correlate with comfort more than anything else.

Sunday, 7 April 2013

My First Post!

Well, this is my first blog post.  Yippee!~   So, Esty Lingerie is running this giveaway here:  and one of the ways to earn entries is to blog about our favourite items on the site.  So, I figured this was as good a time as any to actually start blogging.  I've been meaning to do this for a while now.  So, here are some of my favourite things on the site!~

I adore Arabelle.  I kid you not, they make some of the cutest knickers on the planet!

Look at these!  The candyfloss blue satin and pink lace knickers look good enough to eat!  They'd actually really nicely match some jammies I had when I was a kid...~

I've always had a soft spot for vampiric/gothic looking things, and these most certainly fit the bill.

 I love love love purple, and these happen to be my favourite shade of purple.  Ooh, and look at that black lace, and the bows!  YUM!

These are adorable as well!~

 I love this, but sadly, it's not available in my size.  I'm not usually a fan of babydolls, but this one is quite nice!  It's also affordable, at £14.99.

The knickers are soooo awesome.  Look at the lacing detail on the sides!

Remember my mention that I loved gothic type things?  Yep, well this thing is just super cool!  It's just a shame it's not available in my size.~

Know what else I love?~  Knickerocker!  However, I just have one tiny concern...
I won a pair of these awesome underpants through a giveaway done by Esty quite a while ago, and they still haven't shown up!  I contacted Esty about it, and they said they'd have another pair sent which STILL HASN'T ARRIVED!  What's going on? D:

Also, these are just way too cute and Easter-y.~

Another favourite brand of mine?  Leg Avenue!~  Does anyone know if their "one size fits most" would fit, say, a UK 14?
Blue argyle?  Sign me up!  My mom thinks I'm weird for liking argyle though...  What's weird about it? o.o

Mmmm, look at that purple and pink plaid!  I would wear these to death.  Seriously, with everything.  I'd love to own about a zillion pairs of these.

Armwarmers!  I've always had a thing for armwarmers!  I think they're just super cool.

Now of course, as a busty woman, I adore Louise Ferdinand.~
Here's Mr. BF's favourite set.
And here's one of which I'm rather fond.~  Honestly though, I love all of them.

I've also needed eye masks since I was quite young as I'm prone to light sensitive headaches.  I own three at the moment, one which is quite thin but comfortable (I believe it came with a bathing gift set), as well as an adorable Pikachu one, which isn't very comfortable but blocks out light well (I usually stack it with the comfy thin blue one).  I also have my dad's old one, which he had for as long as I can remember and has been mine for the past four years since he's no longer with us.  It's the best of the three, but lately I've found it doesn't block out light as well as it used to (I was in bed with one of those headaches for most of the day, and my trusty old mask just wasn't cutting it).

So!~  Love Me Sugar's (I love that name!) masks hugely appeal to me!  I'd say this one is my favourite at the moment.

I love this shade of blue, and the quilting is just to die for!~

Something else which is on my "lust list" (that phrase tends to make me giggle a bit >.<) Is these stunning tie-side knickers by Mistress Collection.

Look at that delicious shade of purple!

These Nearer the Moon knickers are just fabulous as well.  I love the bow!~

More adorable panties!  Look at the cute little flowers!~

Finally, what's more sexy than pasties, save for the areolas which can actually by adequately covered by them?  ._. I realize this may be an awkward subject, but we aren't all small and perfectly round enough to rock these things, which makes me a little sad because look at these!

Nightly Allure butterfly pasties.  BUTTERFLIES!

I mentioned my adorable Pikachu eye mask, yes?  I love Pokémon so these are bloody awesome.

Well!  That's my first blog post.  It actually took me a really long time to write this!  The giveaway was the final boot in the pants I needed to actually get started, and even then, it took me a few weeks to even try figuring out how to do this!  Then I left it half written for a few days.  I was a terrible student. ._.  Well, was it decent?  I'd like feedback, even if there isn't much to give!~